Alright...

 It’s been a few months, with covid hitting huge, a lot has changed. 

I’m in a new relationship now. 

I just want to always be trusting but I hope I don’t get hurt... I hope I can get the truth out about how I know he hooked up with that girl while still talking with me... that really made my heart drop and had me thinking... how much you can’t trust some girls.... but what do I get out of it? What use it it having him admit it when I already know the truth. It definitely hurts, because meanwhile we were both still conversing like as if it was just another day, however that was the same week he conveniently asked for a break. Sorry for the mini rant... truthfully I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this. 

Been very insecure lately... people have been noticing, being called fat, and all these words meant to put me down... it makes it hard to smile and say whatever because it’s already something that I don’t like in myself... I feel like I have no other choice but to get “skinny”. Oh well I kind of already accepted it and want to. I just don’t like people I care about let others talk poorly of me, it hurts because I know I wouldn’t do that. 

I want to just leave it but it’s been bothering me for a while. 

I think I might bring it up and want it just off my chest. 

Thanks to whoever chooses to read this. 

Hope I can one day live a life with someone who loves me so much that I can smile right into the future with them. I believe that.