I'm sorry.

I feel angry...

I've been battling with depression for so long, to the point that I'm confused about why I'm not happy.

I did it all,

I went travelling, saw a bit of the world.

I exercised, went for runs and fell in love with yoga.

Took on new hobbies, bought new skis.

Moved out of my parents' place to a new city... finally on my own.

I can do what I want for once.

Everything I wished for 5 years ago is what I have now...

But why do I feel so hopeless... I feel pathetic... I feel stuck and my anxiety is insane.

I spend my time mostly alone. I do this because I'm embarrassed.

I can't stop crying and I don't want to constantly explain myself to people so I prefer to be alone.

I'm so sorry to all the ones who I cut off... I tell you I can't go out because I have work in the morning and need to sleep, but really I'm in bed... thinking about how much fun I would've had with you if I wasn't so hopeless.

It means a lot for anyone still out there who reads this.

If you do, can you just let me know that the

                                       grass is greener on the other side?


- love,


     Sara Elisabet